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Please. I dare you to find a legacy that stuck to to kids that look so much alike.

Ashlee: I don't want any more fucking kids! Fortune sim, remember?
Hush, you.

And Ashlee resumes her role of Mother, Maid, Chef and Bread-winner.

Seriously, she fixed it and it broke seconds later.

That's it, Ash, scare it into submission.

Meanwhile, she's still a good mother. She did this autonomously - and that's Wilhelmia because srsly, Ashlee didn't touch Clementine and Tristan didn't touch 'Mina.

I fear for the new baby.

Ashlee: Hold it in. It's degrading for all of us when you don't.
The lecturing action never fails to amuse.

Tristan and Clementine. I got two messages from the Social Worker about 'Mina and Tristan just fed and bathed Clementine over and over again. :headdesk:

Ashlee: I could handcuff Tristan to the twins and escape back Downtown... and then I'd be freeee...

Helios and I both joy in making Tristan suffer for being such a deadbeat. Srsly, Helios is untrained and he earns more.

Speaking of Helios, isn't he awesome?

Disturbingly late pop!

Ashlee: Uhuh, a new baby, awesome! I just need to go and boil my brain.

She looks like she was just given a really crappy present that she has to pretend to love. But this is a Legacy, where I don't care about your hopes and dreams, Walking Uterus.

So Ashlee becomes stealthy and tries to poison the baby within.

Meanwhile, the Children Endangerment Championship is beginning in the kitchen.

Ashlee: Oh, Tristan's so sexy when he impales our kid on the ceiling fan.

How cute is she?! :D I'm not used to having cute sims. I have some true horror stories from my old legacy which is stuck in Gen 8 because all the heirs are too fugly to continue with.

Ashlee thinks she can beat Tristan by decapitating the baby on her plumbob. And fails.

'Mina! She's so cute!

Meanwhile, the family hygiene standards are going up.

Helios and I agree that this is just repulsive.

Pop again.

This pregnancy was way harder on Ashlee. She was passing out and peeing herself and everything.

Meanwhile, Helios takes over as main care-giver to the twins. Cuteness!

Tristan, babe, it's not actually good for you to spray pesticides with your daughter playing in the garden. It'll kill her.
Tristan: ...Yeah.

His first interaction with 'Mina! The joy! He might have some family-sim tendencies!

Or not. Fail, Tristan.

Mina is the only one who gets taught anything. It just happens she's the one that in the green when it comes to teaching walking and stuff. I feel sorry for Clementine missing out entirely.

Ashlee: Something beautiful is happening in my uterus!
Side effect from the pesticides, maybe?

Tristan: ... Damnit

Clementine: I need food and a bath and attention and you're bringing another one into the house?

Daisy Harlequin, who is also Not a Clone, despite having the same colouring as her sisters.

She's a little monster.

Tristan's giving this wacky hygiene concept a test drive with Clementine as the guinea pig.

Obviously, he was displeased with the results.

... or he discovered that cleaning yourself is a much more successful operation if the bath itself is clean.

'Mina begins a possible career in Professional Bitching.

Tristan: Zzzz...need booty call...

Ashlee: :sniff: If I'd known this was a legacy...

Tristan really is from the shallow end of the gene pool.

And the Gold Medal of Negligent Parenting goes to...

Daisy's birthday. Thank god. I swear that the Social Worker has an entire unit monitoring this house, waiting to swoop and take the kids.

Zomg, cute! It's such a novelty.

It's also the twins' birthday. Clementine first.

I admit, I was cautious here, cause I could see her genes going very wrong. But a make over and she was such a cutie!

All that favoritism paid off.

'Mina's turn!

There are no photos of 'Mina pre-make over because she grew up and then tore off to make the beds. Seriously, no cake or anything. Just cleaning.

Here they both are post-make over. 'Mina on the left with the pigtails and Clementine on the right. I love how similar they look without being clones.

'Mina cleans and Daisy messes up. It's a delicate cycle.

It doesn't matter what time Tristan gets home, Clementine always runs out to hug him and hate on her sister.

This is the Mysterious Stink that randomly appears. There is nothing there to cause the stink and it's right on the border of the property. I've moveobjects-ed it, and there's no way to remove it, which sucks because it drags down everyone's 'environment' meter.

And this is Daisy post-make over.

She hasn't grown out of the professional bitching gene yet.

Though, 'Mina did. She just plays with her dolls or reads. In between cleaning, of course.

ACR always keeps things interesting. It was about here I disconnected my risky woohoo hack because, frankly, three kids is enough for Gen 1.

'Mina bitches on why her life is so hard. Damn upper middle class.

Tristan pursues his Booty Call of Choice.
Odango Girl: Ewww, I can practically see the STDs.
Tristan: How you doin'?

Tristan: Yup, that's my crotch.
And Dagmar once again renews her Town Bicycle membership.

Yes, please continue whoring yourself out, Tristan, whilst your beloved daughter makes a snowman behind you. That won't effect her negatively.

Oh well. Who ever heard of well adjusted sim kids?

With a booty call in the bag, Tristan develops a pimp strut which amuses the hell out of me.

I figured that I better marry Ashlee and Tristan - mostly because all three girls had Ashlee's surname, which I had to fix in Sim PE. Fifty million awesome points for who can name the anime character I stole Tristan's pimpin' suit from.

The guests are all Tristan's rejects slash potentional booty calls. And how cute do the twins look?

Ashlee: Yay! No pre-nup. Fuck, it's my money.

Tristan: Can't actually think of any good that comes from being married, but I'm sure it'll come to me.

The twins smustle with glee that their parents actually made it to the altar.

Smustling is serious business.

I love the smustle.

Wow. How appropriate. At your own wedding, with your wife right there and your daughter actually watching you. Tristan, that's a new low.
(ACR kicked in and Ashlee never ever acknowledged Tristan and Dagmar's affair, not even when she was right there.)

Clementine needed to cleanse herself of her father's filth, but Dagmar decided that Clementine wasn't traumatized enough. That's your potential step-mommy pooping there, Clem!

Gratuitous PENGUIN sighting.

Ashlee and Tristan on the bed. Check. Nude. Check. ACR kicking in. Check. The nanny talking to Tristan via the teddy bear. ... Check. I suppose everyone has their kinks.

Tristan's first day of married bliss sets the tone for the golden years ahead...

...whilst Daisy learns early in life that only the tough survive. We don't want no weaklings in this legacy, damnit.

'Mina's professional bitching career is completely and utterly done. She's a really sweet kid. I hope Daisy grows out of it, too.

Good triumphs over evil, yet again.

Daisy's birthday! She's finally out of the Danger Zone.

Cute! And wow, does Peggy struggle with her colours?

Clementine and Daisy post-make over. 'Mina refused to hug Daisy. I love how the girls look like sisters without the Dreaded Clone Factor. It's wonderful.

I'm going to try and do a giant update next, to catch up with where I'm at in the game :) And thank you to everyone who suggested to put the house walls up to make my pictures look better - it totally worked, except I was already up to Uni in my game when those suggestions were offered, so there's another post or two of walls-down pictures x_x

It's been a week of bad news here, so I'm sorry if this is a really boring update, I just didn't feel particularly funny.
Awww the girls are really cute!
I think sometimes we're funnier when we're not trying to be/feeling it, because I laughed my way through this. :)
Ashlee: I could handcuff Tristan to the twins and escape back Downtown... and then I'd be freeee...
Aw, poor Ash. I feel for her.

The girls are so cute! Good thing you could fix their last names.

I want to know whose pimpin' suit that is.

And of course making out with someone other than your wife at your wedding reception is perfectly acceptable. This is a Harlequin family, after all. ;)

LOL at Daisy eating the pet food. That comes in handy! I actually had a sim with kids in uni who set out pet food for her toddlers because she was too busy to actually feed them properly.

Good triumphs over evil, yet again. Aw, loved that.